Apparently “satire” is not a two-way street with The Onion.
In the past year, over 100 bills pertaining to firearms have been passed at the state level, nearly two-thirds of which have loosened restrictions on gun ownership. Here are some of the notable gun laws enacted this year:
Virginia: Those purchasing guns must present valid form of ID or plausible-sounding explanation for why they cannot
Alabama: Allows gun owners to carry concealed racial biases
New Mexico: Requires mandatory safety program to train gun owners in the precise method of dancing around bullets being fired at their feet
Mississippi: Residents allowed to own any weapon they can securely tuck into the waist of their pants
Massachusetts: Requires all bullets be hand-thrown
Indiana: Strengthens requirements for state officials to look the other goddamn way
South Dakota: New law allows for one good, clean shot at Mount Rushmore
Texas: Empowers gun owners to preemptively kill any politician attempting to pass a law infringing on their rights
Florida: Gun owners permitted to do anything as long as they have good enough lawyer
Pennsylvania: Officially recognizes how sad all of this is
So how would you write satire if you were attacking gun banners?