Marriage at the Gun Range

Jewish weddings feature a man stepping on the glass. If shooting the glass is more up your alley, you’re gonna love these marriages at the gun range:

 

Say “I Do Shoot” at The Gun Range in Las Vegas. The Daily Mail reported the story and some of the comments were ridiculous:

Maybe they would feel different if it was their children, family or friends that were blown away by these rediculas guns!

“Rediculas” guns? I’m not spelling bee champion, but if you don’t notice the red underline in that word, you have no business typing in a computer.

Our Gun Crime in the US may be higher than yours but your overall VIOLENT CRIME is 4x greater than ours. 1/4 the population and the same number of incidences of violent crime. Thinking of banning Chefs knives now too! You guys are so pathetic and unresourceful you cant even save a squirrel from a canal by yourselves, you have to call a TEAM of fiefighters! What? Do you have ladder or plank of wood control over there now too?!

Exactly, and the fact that they have a huge black market on guns proves that their “gun control” doesn’t work.

Romantic? One couple kisses passionately while holding a gun each during their wedding ceremony

 

V-Day at the Gun Range

If you’re in love, you’re gonna love this.

How would you like to take your significant other to fire off a few rounds at the gun range?

That’s right, you can enjoy a meal together before undergoing a personal defense demonstration at Sealed Mindset, a world-class shooting range in New Hope, Minn

And then, for dessert, you can join skilled instructors as they teach you and your date handgun safety, defensive flashlight techniques, and defensive handgun fundamentals.

The only catch is that the date night is limited to eight couples only, so if your interest is piqued, you probably want to contact them and reserve your slot now.

Sealed Night’s date night experience is $250 per couple and lasts 3.5 hours. Admission covers range time and all equipment, including ammunition and protection for your eyes and ears.

The couples package has been termed “the most unusual Date Night concept around” by Inc. Magazine, Sealed Night’s website boasts.
Source: http://minnesota.cbslocal.com/2014/02/13/take-your-date-night-to-the-gun-range/

Can’t afford $250? Then give your lovebird a Gunshine T-Shirt, 9 have sold so far and if one more sells, the shirts get printed.

72 Questions about 72 Virgins for Suicide Bombers

Dear Terrorist, before you commit self-murder, here’s a few questions for you to ponder.

1) What if the bomber wants girls with more experience?

2) What if one virgin is no good in bed? Does she get replaced or is he stuck with 71?
3) If he’s gay, does he get male virgins?
4) What if he’s celibate? What does he get?
5) What if he hasn’t reached puberty yet? Does he get 72 Xboxes till he comes of age?
6) If he’s bi, does he get 36 of each?
7) If he blows himself up while building the bomb, does he still get credit?
8) What do you call a relationship with 72 women, a menage-a-soixante-deux?
9) Are they like 72 wives or 1 wife and 71 concubines?
10) What if he’s ugly or smells bad and the virgins don’t want anything to do with him?
11) Is there viagra in paradise? Ya know, just in case?
12) Is there an age of consent?
13) When they’re deflowered, do they get replaced by new virgins or are they “born again”?
14) Do they become his common-law wives eventually?
15) If he has a tryst with a 73rd virgin, do the others consider it cheating?
16) Do the virgins have a union? If so, can they strike if they’re not satisfied?
17) Is there a temp agency that replaces virgins if they call in sick?
18) What if the bomber’s into animals? Does he get accommodated?
19) Why 72? Is 71 too few? Is 73 too many?
20) If it was a female bomber, how do the male virgins prove their virginity?
21) What happens when paradise runs out of virgins?
22) Can a bomber make reservations on specific virgins before he blows himself up?
23) If there are no virgins available, is he put on a waiting list?
24) If he’s a catholic priest, does he get 72 little boys?
25) Would you call a female bomber a bombshell?
26) Would you call a child bomber a bombino?
27) Is it not 73 out of respect for Barry Bond’s home run record?
28) If the bomber previously dated one of the virgins, does it get awkward?
29) Do they have a bomb squad in paradise just in case one of the charges didn’t go off?
30) Did they start using female bombers because they ran out of virgins for the guys?
31) If she’s a lesbian, do they “convert” the virgins, or will straight girls suffice her?
32) Does a hermaphrodite bomber get hermaphrodite virgins?
33) If so, are there 72 available?
34) If they run out of virgins, do they get inflatable dolls till they find more?
35) If a bomber finds an infidel in paradise, can he blow him up and get 72 more virgins?
36) Could the Koran have had a typo and it actually provided just one 72 year old virgin?
37) Is Muslim hell being one of the 72 virgins?
38) Instead of 72 guys, would a female bomber settle for 1 man who does dishes and garbage?
39) Do the bombers go broke on Valentine’s Day?
40) If he’s monogamous, does he pick one of the 72 or does he get a supermodel?
41) What if he doesn’t like either gender? Does he just klutz around in paradise?
42) Eternity is long, and eventually he’ll grow bored of his 72 women. What happens then?
43) How does he pick the 72 to begin with? Lottery? Beauty pageant? Police lineup?
44) Is he allowed to covet his neighbor’s virgins?
45) Do the virgins have agents and/or contracts?
46) If so, can a virgin request to be traded or put on waivers if she’s unhappy?
47) What should he say if one of the virgins asks “Does this Burka make me look fat?”
48) If he gives the wrong answer, is he uh, screwed?
49) How is anyone expected to handle a catfight amongst 72 women?
50) Did the 9/11 hijackers who didn’t know they were going to die get 72 virgins too?
51) Are scouts employed to find virgin talent?
52) Do the virgins ever retire, or do they remain virgins forever?
53) If they retire, what kind of pension plan do they get?
54) Wouldn’t it be interesting if they’re virgins because they’re ugly?
55) So is it 72 Muslim girls or like 1 virgin from every culture?
56) Wouldn’t it be sweet if Lorena Bobbit got hired as one of the virgins?
57) What does Gloria Steinem have to say about all this?
58) When he gets home, does he have to say “How was your day?” to all 72 virgins?
59) Do they have counseling for sexual addiction in paradise?
60) If the virgins start hogging the remote, is he in hell?
61) They must take up an entire theater when they go to the movies, huh?
62) Are there restaurants in paradise that can accommodate a reservation for 73?
63) If a virgin suffers from multiple personalities, is she considered two virgins?
64) Does he get all the virgins at once, or do they have an installment plan?
65) Is the bomber entitled to subsitutes, exchanges, or refunds?
66) What if all the king’s horses and all the king’s men can’t put the bomber together again?
67) Is “not tonight, dear, I have a headache” a valid excuse in paradise?
68) Do the virgins come with a warranty?
69) If so, does paradise replace defective parts and provide on-site service?
70) What do you call a lifetime warranty if you’re dead?
71) Do siamese twin bombers get 144 virgins?
72) Who gets to clean up all those nasty sheets?

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Armed Business Owner Scares Crime Away

Great story from TheBlaze:

An armed Houston businessman confronted a pair of burglary suspects attempting to rob his smoke shop on Wednesday, shooting one of them in the head. The criminals seemingly thought the shop was empty because it had closed for the day — which they quickly found out was not the case.

Seeking to protect himself and his business, the manager of The Smoke Box in Houston grabbed his gun as the unidentified men, at least one of whom may have been armed, attempted to burglarize the business. Though the report lacks detail, the manager ended up firing his gun at them.

Sgt. John Hernandez with the Harris County Sheriff’s Office told KTRK-TV that one of the suspects was shot in the head and transported to Ben Taub Hospital.

It’s almost a given that all criminals in the area will think long and hard before targeting The Smoke Box any time in the near future — even if it’s closed for the day.

Both of the would-be burglars then attempted to run away but were quickly taken into custody by police in a nearby neighborhood.

One of the suspects reportedly pointed his gun at an officer, who then returned fire, firing three shots but missing his target.

Though police first thought there may have been a third suspect, they are no longer looking for any additional accomplices in the incident.
Source: http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2014/02/13/texas-businessman-sends-a-clear-message-to-criminals-just-because-my-shop-is-closed-doesnt-mean-im-not-in-here-with-my-gun/